Gary Chapman's The 5 Love Languages
In his famous book, the author posits that every person has different love languages. These different love languages translates directly into how they show their love, as well as how they prefer to receive love.
Although everyone will exhibit certain levels out of each love language, there will be one primary love language in which each of us prefer and predominantly rely on.
The 5 love languages are (in no order of priority):
1. Physical Touch
2. Words of Affirmation
3. Gifts of Love
4. Acts of Service
5. Quality Time
There is a free online test located at this website:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com/
For your easy reference, I have extracted the online text and appended in the text below, which you can fill out at your own leisure.
First, find a quiet corner where you will not likely to be disturbed.
Make sure to leave your hand phone or other communication devices in silent mode.
Grab a piece of paper along with a pen/ pencil.
Clear your head of mindless thoughts, be in the moment when you are attempting this self test.
Select the responses to each question naturally, do your best not to over-think each response.
You should select the response which comes most naturally to you.
If you encounter no responses in which you feel most comfortable with, select the one you feel more comfortable with in relation to the other response.
This self administered test consists of 30 short questions (which will take you an estimated 15 minutes to complete).
1 It’s more meaningful to me when…
A I receive a loving note/text/email for no special reason from my loved one.
E my partner and I hug.
2 It’s more meaningful to me when…
B I can spend alone time with my partner - just the two of us.
D my partner does something practical to help me out.
3 It’s more meaningful to me when…
C my partner gives me a little gift as a token of our love for each other.
B I get to spend uninterrupted leisure time with my partner.
4 It’s more meaningful to me when…
D my partner unexpectedly does something for me like filling my car or doing the laundry.
E my partner and I touch.
5 It’s more meaningful to me when…
E my partner puts his/her arm around me when we’re in public.
C my partner surprises me with a gift.
6 It’s more meaningful to me when…
B I’m around my partner, even if we’re not really doing anything.
E I hold hands with my partner.
7 It’s more meaningful to me when…
C my partner gives me a gift.
A I hear “I love you” from my partner.
8 It’s more meaningful to me when…
E I sit close to my partner.
A I am complimented by my loved one for no apparent reason.
9 It’s more meaningful to me when…
B I get the chance to just “hang out” with my partner.
C I unexpectedly get small gifts from my partner.
10 It’s more meaningful to me when…
A I hear my partner tell me, “I’m proud of you.”
D my partner helps me with a task.
11 It’s more meaningful to me when…
B I get to do things with my partner.
A I hear supportive words from my partner.
12 It’s more meaningful to me when…
D my partner does things for me instead of just talking about doing nice things.
E I feel connected to my partner through a hug.
13 It’s more meaningful to me when…
A I hear praise from my partner.
C my partner gives me something that shows he/she was really thinking about me.
14 It’s more meaningful to me when…
B I’m able to just be around my partner.
E I get a back rub or massage from my partner.
15 It’s more meaningful to me when…
A my partner reacts positively to something I’ve accomplished.
D my partner does something for me that I know they don’t particularly enjoy.
16 It’s more meaningful to me when…
E my partner and I kiss frequently.
B I sense my partner is showing interest in the things I care about.
17 It’s more meaningful to me when…
D my partner works on special projects with me that I have to complete.
C my partner gives me an exciting gift.
18 It’s more meaningful to me when…
A I’m complimented by my partner on my appearance.
B my partner takes the time to listen to me and really understand my feelings.
19 It’s more meaningful to me when…
E my partner and I share non-sexual touch in public.
D my partner offers to run errands for me.
20 It’s more meaningful to me when…
D my partner does a bit more than his/her normal share of the responsibilities we share (around the house, work-related, etc).
C I get a gift that I know my partner put thought into choosing.
21 It’s more meaningful to me when…
B my partner doesn’t check his/her phone while we’re talking.
D my partner goes out of their way to do something that relieves pressure on me.
22 It’s more meaningful to me when…
C I can look forward to a holiday because of a gift I anticipate receiving.
A I hear the words, “I appreciate you” from my partner.
23 It’s more meaningful to me when…
C my partner brings me a little gift after he/she has been traveling without me.
D my partner takes care of something I’m responsible to do but I feel too stressed to do at the time.
24 It’s more meaningful to me when…
B my partner doesn’t interrupt me while I’m talking.
C gift giving is an important part of our relationship.
25 It’s more meaningful to me when…
D my partner helps me out when he/she knows I’m already tired.
B I get to go somewhere while spending time with my partner.
26 It’s more meaningful to me when…
E my partner and I are physically intimate.
C my partner gives me a little gift that he/she picked up in the course of their normal day.
27 It’s more meaningful to me when…
A my partner says something encouraging to me.
B I get to spend time in a shared activity or hobby with my partner.
28 It’s more meaningful to me when…
C my partner surprises me with a small token of their appreciation.
E my partner and I touch a lot during the normal course of the day.
29 It’s more meaningful to me when…
D my partner helps me out - especially if I know they’re already busy.
A I hear my partner specifi cally tell me, “I appreciate you.”
30 It’s more meaningful to me when…
E my partner and I embrace after we’ve been apart for a while.
A I hear my partner say how much I mean to him/her.
After you are done with the questions, go back and tabulate the number of times you selected each alphabet and write that number next to the corresponding alphabet.
A: _____ Words of Affirmation
B: _____ Quality Time
C: _____ Gifts of Love
D: _____ Acts of Service
E: _____ Physical Touch
Now after you're done tabulating your scores for the respective love language.
The category which you have the highest count will be your primary love language.
If you have two highest and equal count for 2 categories, you are "bilingual" in both the love languages.
(please note, it is bilingual, not bisexual)
If you have a second highest count for another category which is fairly close to your highest count category, this will be your secondary love language.
The highest possible count for any single category is 12.
If you've achieved higher than 12 for any of the categories, then you may have either flunked your mathematics, myopic and double counted some responses, or even plain stooipid. Either way, its beyond our help, please seek alternative professional advice on that.
(please note, getting a higher score than the possible 12 does not make you any more of a lover, it just makes you appear silly)
Now that you have your score, go beg your significant other to do it too.
Compare your scores with each other.
Learn and appreciate each other's primary love language.
Stay tuned to what you and your partner's scores mean and how iWish can help you express and receive your love to each other more intuitively!
www.iwish.com.sg
www.facebook.com/teamiwishsg
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